Preface
Let me preface this story by explaining that I, myself, am not Christian. I'm Buddhist. I was brought up culturally Shinto-Buddhist/Agnostic and decided as an adult that I was drawn to Buddhism and its teachings. That being said, I firmly believe that one of my strengths as a mother is a strong sense of open-mindedness and tolerance. Just as the Dalai Lama advocates religious harmony, I have great respect for religions and practices which encourage compassion for others and find that many religious teaching align with those of Buddhism. For example, the Five Precepts in Buddhism are:
1. Act with loving-kindness
2. Be open hearted and generous
3. Practice stillness, simplicity and contentment
4. Speak with truth, clarity and peace
5. Live with mindfulness
This is not to say that I believe all religions are the same, but I believe a respect for others also means a respect for others' beliefs.
Back to the Incident at Kroger
I assume most Americans realize that grocery stores actively remind us of upcoming holidays and seasons. The day after Christmas, we often see a transformation from Christmas decorations and gift wrapping to boxed chocolates and Valentine's Day cards. (It always puzzled me that you might consider buying and then storing chocolates a month and a half early.) So it shouldn't be a surprise that since the day after Valentine's Day, our grocery stores have been filled with bunnies and chicks which come in toy, chocolate, or sugar form in preparation for Easter. Each time we passed the "seasonal" aisle, Rai would point out a huge stuffed animal or candy, and each time I tried to explain with some variation that began "Some people are Christian and celebrate Easter..." I have to admit that I'm not entirely educated about the connection between Christ's resurrection and the Easter egg hunt, but I do my best to make it an educational moment. I had never thought about the reaction of others to this moment until two weeks ago.
After the first few words of my explanation, a woman about two feet away with two children in her cart quickly turned around and gave an awkward, almost suspicious look and started to stare. I was stunned and did what I thought was appropriate, "Can I help you?" My next comment was going to be "I'm sorry, but did I offend you?" but she quickly turned around and went down the aisle.
To the mother at Kroger, I don't know what I said to cause that reaction, but I'm a bit perplexed and somewhat offended that I and my child were given such a look. Is this the type of reaction you would want to see your own children give a stranger? I thought we strive to teach our children that being different is okay. Although fitting into societal norms might be easier on a child, I don't see why I can't show Rai that he doesn't always need to fit in. Whether this is a topic of adoption, religion, sexuality, or his favorite animal, I want Rai to know different is okay.
And if I did offend you, why not say something? It doesn't have to be a confrontation; I would have liked to know. Instead, I left that aisle feeling defensive of my interest in educating my child that not everyone has to celebrate Easter, but the people who do might do this for a reason, beyond a marketing tactic. I'm not even saying that Rai can't celebrate Easter. I'm sure he's had his share of Easter egg hunts. But should I have waited until we were safely out of earshot before I told him why we weren't buying a stuffed rabbit?
After the first few words of my explanation, a woman about two feet away with two children in her cart quickly turned around and gave an awkward, almost suspicious look and started to stare. I was stunned and did what I thought was appropriate, "Can I help you?" My next comment was going to be "I'm sorry, but did I offend you?" but she quickly turned around and went down the aisle.
To the mother at Kroger, I don't know what I said to cause that reaction, but I'm a bit perplexed and somewhat offended that I and my child were given such a look. Is this the type of reaction you would want to see your own children give a stranger? I thought we strive to teach our children that being different is okay. Although fitting into societal norms might be easier on a child, I don't see why I can't show Rai that he doesn't always need to fit in. Whether this is a topic of adoption, religion, sexuality, or his favorite animal, I want Rai to know different is okay.
And if I did offend you, why not say something? It doesn't have to be a confrontation; I would have liked to know. Instead, I left that aisle feeling defensive of my interest in educating my child that not everyone has to celebrate Easter, but the people who do might do this for a reason, beyond a marketing tactic. I'm not even saying that Rai can't celebrate Easter. I'm sure he's had his share of Easter egg hunts. But should I have waited until we were safely out of earshot before I told him why we weren't buying a stuffed rabbit?
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