Celebrating Differences

A few weeks ago, Rai and I took the DART Rail down to the zoo for our weekly "Mommy-Rai Day." On the train across and bit a down from us, an African-American young man (maybe in his 20s) laid back asleep in his seat with a blanket wrapped around him. His face was badly scared from what looked to be burns, and I couldn't help but notice that several people on the train were staring at him. To be honest, I didn't notice him until I saw several people entering the train and sitting so close together and so far from him. The mother part of me worried that Rai might pick up on these people's reactions and say something as his own reaction. While Rai sat looking around, I thought to myself "What should I say if he says something? He's only 2 years old, but he's very observant and curious." In the one hour ride down to the zoo, we watched people get on the train (again sitting as far from him as possible) and people get off. He never woke. He only laid sleeping with this blanket wrapped around him. I had finally decided that if Rai said anything, I would just explain that we are all different, and it's okay to be different (hoping he would be fine with this explanation since it was the same line I used in the grocery store at Easter). I had decided that I would point to us as examples and show how my nose was different from his and my fingernails were different, too.

But during that one hour train ride, Rai said nothing ... until we got up to wait for our stop. "Sleeping?" Rai said. I just smiled and said "Yes, sleeping. Shhhh." with a big smile on my face.

It's moments like this when I'm glad I'm a mother. Although it bothered me that people could react so negatively to someone who might look different, I probably would not have had this internal dialogue.

Since then, I've noticed myself watching how this innocent 2 year old observes and makes sense of the world. Rai may have liked playing with a young Asian (Chinese) girl in preschool when he first started last August, but his "friends" in his preschool class are very diverse ethnically and racially. I'm glad to know Rai has these experiences and can draw from these first experiences with other children while he's so young.

I was drawn to my current workplace/school because of our diversity. It greatly shaped my research, political ideas, religious ideas, and who I am today because of the relationships (i.e. boyfriends, friends, colleagues, students, etc.) since I first arrived at the University of Texas at Dallas. It was here that I learned how to cook butter chicken (one of my favorite Indian dishes), the fascinating mixture of both Mahayana and Theravada Buddhism in Nepali Buddhism, the complex identity of American-born Indians versus the international students from India, the rich differences in Asian culture from one memorable Vietnamese grandmother, among other things. My memories of Alternative Spring Break (volunteer-based trips during Spring Break) trips and the relationships I made as Service Learning Coordinator opened my eyes to several issues resulting in isolationism facing various American people generally because of differences from "the norm."

And I have to say that I am thrilled that our neighborhood is just as diverse. On our street alone, there is a Latino family, a Bi-racial family, several Asian families, African-American families, and of course the Caucasian families. When our social worker asked what we planned to do to give Rai some sense of comfort as an Asian adopted child (in a semi-non-Christian family), I said what I firmly believe. We have enough diversity in ourselves, family, friends, and community that we hope Rai will understand that everyone, in some way, is different. And I truly hope our culture will continue to learn to accept differences before Rai is old enough to be self-conscious of these.

Over the course of nearly thirty years, I have learned to accept things that make me different (i.e. being half-Japanese/half-Caucasian American yet passing as Hispanic, Buddhist, an only child, etc.), and in the past few years, my feelings have slowly evolved from acceptance to a new sense of pride in these things. So it might not be surprising that upon hearing this NPR interview in the car, I began to tear up:

Thinking back on the young man in the train, I hope Rai continues to look past differences and treat everyone as equally as possible. This isn't to say I think he will be color-blind (in terms of race) or think all cultures are the same, but I think our experiences with differences allows us to better understand other perspectives. I can't help but wonder how many people hold on to prejudices out of fear or misunderstanding.

To avoid making this blog post any longer, I've decided to take a few moments in the next few weeks to blog about the differences I find inspiring, and I invite anyone's thoughts on the subject.